October 23, 2017

Chinese Man Gives Up Cheekbones to Save Wife

Lang Qiang recently had surgery to reduce his protruding cheekbones because fortune-tellers had told him that because of them, his wife would die before him.

The 48-year old man of Chongqing city, said: “I believe it without any doubt. Misfortunes are always happening to my wife, while I have none.

“For example, every morning, we need to go downstairs to pick up the bottled milk. I’ve never had a problem, but my wife fell and fractured her legs going down the stairs.

“Another time I stood on a bench to hang a cloth. Then my wife stood on it, and the bench broke.”

There was no word as to whether his wife is a fatty.

“I always feel sorry for my wife and want to do something to make things up,” Lang said. “I told my wife I would go on a business trip for more than 10 days. I want to give her a surprise.”

I wonder how he’ll react when she continues to have bad luck…


Plastic Surgeon Sucks Out Butt Fat By Mistake

German belly dancer, Julia ‘Cleopatra’ Meyer, thought there was too much fat in her outer thighs. Instead of going on a diet and exercising, she went to a private clinic and told them what she wanted.

They must have confused thigh for butt because when she went into surgery, the plastic surgeon proceeded to suck out all the fat in her right butt.

“I had been unhappy with my saddlebags, the fat stored in the outer thigh area. Because of the local anaesthesia I did not realise what he was doing,” Meyer said.

“When I saw afterwards that half of my bum was missing I almost fainted. It had been completely sucked away.”

Meyer took it to court and let them know she could no longer perform her dances and was also too embarrassed to go to a swimming pool.

Meyer asked for £6,000 compensation but the judge didn’t think that was enough for her troubles. He ordered the absent-minded surgeon to pay her £12,000 (about $23,000).

When performing the liposuction, didn’t it occur to the surgeon that no one in their right mind would want a disproportionate backside? He should have at least sucked fat out of the other while he was at it.


Surgeons Lengthen the Wrong Leg of Five-Year Old

Surgeons at Xiangya Second Hospital, Changsha City, China, have apologized after lengthening the wrong leg of a five-year-old boy in an attempt to correct his limp.

“The doctor suggested surgery to extend the withered tendon, and we agreed. But when Mingming came out of the operating room, I found his left leg was in the cast,” Miao Mingming’s father said.

The surgeons said the mistake occurred because the boy had been given anaesthesia while laying on his back, but was operated on while laying on his stomach.

Miao Mingming’s right leg was shorter than his left prior to the operation. Now the surgeons have to shorten his left leg (back to normal) and then lengthen his right (like they were supposed to in the first place).

They better get it right next time. The father should sue.