Archive for the 'Stupid' Category

Tadeus Konopizc, 40, from Zakopane, Poland, was angry because his wife had left him.

It took one bottle of vodka for his rage to make him do the dumbest thing a man can do to himself.

Tadeus Konopizc took a six-inch knife and cut off his genitals, including his testicles.

That’s right. The man no longer has balls. If he wore tight pants, he’d be mistaken for a manly-looking woman.

Realizing he’d made a horrible mistake, Konopizc called doctors to ask for help. A special helicopter rescue team was sent to fly him to Bialystok, a town with surgeons that specialize in sewing back severed organs.

Unfortunately for Konopizc, Mother Nature wasn’t on his side. A heavy fog delayed the helicopter so by the time they got to the hospital, it was too late to reattach his man parts.

Now he has to undergo months of surgery as doctors attempt to rebuild his member using skin from another part of his body.

Ouch.

The fact that he cut off his genitals because his wife left him makes me wonder: did she leave him because he couldn’t perform in the sack?

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A 45-year old Napier woman called police yesterday morning after she noticed her precious marijuana plants had been stolen from her shed.

“I have had three marijuana plants stolen. They were in buckets,” the woman told a police communications officer, who couldn’t stop smiling as he listened to the crying woman lament over her beloved pot.

“I am a good person. I am sick of these low-lifes stealing my things,” she said, not realizing she was also referring to herself as a low-life.

The woman also told him it was the fourth year in a row that someone had snuck into her property at night and stolen her marijuana plants.

She later got a visit from a cop, who took the details of the burglary and warned her of the legal consequences if she continued growing weed.

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Jared Anderson, 20, of Wisconsin decided he just had to light his genitals on fire after seeing something similar in a movie.

He and Randell Peterson, 43, had been drinking and watching the movie when the brilliant idea came to Anderson.

“People that were there said that after he saw the movie he told people that he wanted to do this — light his genitals and he proceeded to enlist Mr. Peterson’s help in doing so,” Eau Claire County Assistant District Attorney Mike Steuer said on WEAU-TV.

What ensued led to Anderson being hospitalized with burns on his genitals and Peterson being incarcerated.

Peterson sprayed lighter fluid on Anderson’s genitals and attempted to light it on fire. When it didn’t work, Peterson tried a second time and Anderson’s genitals, hands, and clothing caught fire.

Anderson later filed a criminal complaint claiming that he hadn’t wanted to be lit on fire and was attacked.

I guess it’s also a bad idea for people to drink and watch TV.

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A Welsh woman was arrested after faking her own death to avoid going to court over a speeding ticket.

Glenda Askew, 47, had received a notice from the police after driving 11 miles over the city speed limit in March 2006.

She ignored the notice until she received a summons to court.

According to Prosecutor Bryn Hurford, Askew then filled out the summons using her daughter’s name, Tracey Roberts, stating that her mother had died in a car accident and therefore couldn’t make it to court.

She should have know better.

The judge didn’t think she should be sent to prison so he sentenced her to 12 months of supervision.

I wonder how she’s going to try to get out of this one…

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Calum McFadyen, 35, was at home with his family when he tied his wedding ring to his four-year-old son’s balloon to see if he could weigh it down.

He got distracted by the TV and before he knew it, his son, Henry, opened the front door and waved goodbye to the balloon as it floated away with the ring still attached.

McFadyen said: “The ring has not been off my hand in years - I was just messing about with the kids. I guess it could be in France now!

“My wife wasn’t too impressed and told me it was a stupid thing to do. I tend to agree!

“I’ve been getting a ribbing from the people at work but I deserve it. Now I just want the ring back.”

HIs wife Vicky, 36, said: “This could only happen to my husband, he’s one of those people!”

He should have known better. Four-year-olds don’t know the value of a wedding ring.

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A Chilean woman has been sent to jail after attempting to bite off her husband’s manhood.

She’s being charged of grievous bodily harm and is now in custody awaiting trial. The man had to undergo minor surgery.
According to the police, the unnamed woman said she’d done it out of jealously and couldn’t control herself. She was trying to teach her husband a lesson.

She said it was a proof of love and was sure her husband would understand and forgive her.

I highly doubt it.

Once bitten, twice shy.

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Austria - A primary school teacher might be fired for giving a class of nine-year-olds swear lessons.

Michael Brechter, 57, gave his students an assignment that involved using an array of swear words including, arse, moron, tart, and sh*t.

“I was not teaching them anything they did not already know,” he said.

His excuse?

“It was an attempt to make school lively and fun. My ultimate aim was to show what words should not be used.”

Note to teacher: Don’t make cuss words lively and fun if you don’t want nine-year-olds using them.

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Jorge Alberto Mejia crashed his wife’s new car Saturday while heading to a casino in Sonoma County, California. Instead of doing what a guilty husband should do (buy her some flowers, make her feel special, give her a night to remember, you know - make her remember that she really really loves him before confessing), he created an elaborate tale to avoid her wrath.

The 35-year-old man told the cops that two kidnappers had held him at gunpoint at a San Rafael bar on Saturday. They had forced him to drive to Santa Rosa, California and in order to escape he had to crash the car into a wall.

When the police questioned him further Monday, Mejia confessed that he’d made up the whole thing including the detailed descriptions of his fake kidnappers.

Mejia may now face criminal charges for making a false report.

This is something I’d expect a teenager to do, not a husband!

I wonder if she beats him.

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You know you’re a drug addict when you knowingly snort crack in front of a classroom you’re supposed to be teaching.

59-year old Joan Donatelli was arrested after two girls, ages nine and ten, reported that their substitute teacher had been dipping a pen cap into a small plastic bag of white powder and then putting the pen lid to her nose.

Police searched the classroom and discovered traces of white powder.

Donatelli confessed to the crime after they confronted her at her home.

“She stated that she had a problem, that she had an addiction, something she’s been struggling with,” said Sergeant Frank Previte, of the Lewiston, NY police.

Donatelli had previously been a full-time teacher at the school. If she hadn’t retired, as of 2004, she would have been involved in the school’s drug education curriculum.

She probably assumed the kids wouldn’t know what she was doing.

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39-year old Liu Ye from Zhuhai city recently married himself.

“There are many reasons for marrying myself, but mainly to express my dissatisfaction with reality,” he said.

I don’t think that’s a good enough reason.

“This marriage makes me whole again. My definition of marriage is different from others.”

A false marriage can make a person whole?

There was an actual ceremony with more than 100 guests who watched as Ye married a life-sized foam cut-out of himself wearing a woman’s bridal gown.

I wonder what the sex is like…

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