October 23, 2017

Outlaw Santa

According to WKRN.com, an armed man dressed as Santa Claus walked into a Nashville Bank and after a brief exchange with the teller, he pulled out a gun and demanded money. Apparently the man stated that he needed to ‘pay his elves’.

Hmm, how do you explain that one to the kids?

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Australian Burglars Have Sex in Victim’s Bed

Burglars broke into a house in Darwin, Australia, robbed it and had sex on the homeowner’s bed while the housesitter slept in another bedroom.

They made off with cash and alcohol.

The homeowner, who chose anonymity, had been on vacation at the time.

“[The housesitter had] been out drinking and didn’t hear what was going on,” he said.

“But the evidence of what the thieves got up to before leaving was there for all to see.

“The sheets have been taken away for DNA sampling and I’ve told the police that I don’t want them back.”

That’s just wrong! I guess the burglars get off on robbing people.

It makes you wonder though: were the burglars two females, two males or one female & a male?

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Drunk Man Calls Police to Come and Arrest Him

Realizing he was driving drunk Thursday evening, 21-year-old, Alexander Craig of Colorado Springs, decided to call the police to come and arrest him.

“He called 911 and said, ‘I’m hammered … come get me’,” said Sergeant Rob Kelley of the Colorado Springs police.

He even gave out his name, a description of his car and clues to his location. After six calls to the police, Craig drove away from his alleged location.

Over the course of three hours, 20 officers were sent to find him but came up short. Craig made about 10 calls to the police to taunt them for not being able to find him.

“He said we need to try harder to find him. He said he couldn’t believe he hasn’t been caught yet,” Sergeant Kelley said.

The man was finally arrested shortly after he drove up to some squad cars and sped off. He ran a red light, drove on the wrong side of the road, pulled over at an Albertson’s parking lot, charged at an officer and got tasered.

Source

Help, My Weed’s Been Stolen!

A 45-year old Napier woman called police yesterday morning after she noticed her precious marijuana plants had been stolen from her shed.

“I have had three marijuana plants stolen. They were in buckets,” the woman told a police communications officer, who couldn’t stop smiling as he listened to the crying woman lament over her beloved pot.

“I am a good person. I am sick of these low-lifes stealing my things,” she said, not realizing she was also referring to herself as a low-life.

The woman also told him it was the fourth year in a row that someone had snuck into her property at night and stolen her marijuana plants.

She later got a visit from a cop, who took the details of the burglary and warned her of the legal consequences if she continued growing weed.

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Robber Forgets to Pull Up Mask

A man walked into a service station in Palmerston North today with an iron bar demanding cash and cigarettes.

Midway through the theft, he realized he’d forgotten to pull his bandanna over his face and hurriedly did so.

It was too late though. He was captured by the security camera and police have released the footage.

“His method of operation suggests he is not security camera-savvy… or maybe has not committed a lot of offences of this nature,” a detective said.

If only all criminals were this dumb.

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When Substitute Teachers Do Drugs

You know you’re a drug addict when you knowingly snort crack in front of a classroom you’re supposed to be teaching.

59-year old Joan Donatelli was arrested after two girls, ages nine and ten, reported that their substitute teacher had been dipping a pen cap into a small plastic bag of white powder and then putting the pen lid to her nose.

Police searched the classroom and discovered traces of white powder.

Donatelli confessed to the crime after they confronted her at her home.

“She stated that she had a problem, that she had an addiction, something she’s been struggling with,” said Sergeant Frank Previte, of the Lewiston, NY police.

Donatelli had previously been a full-time teacher at the school. If she hadn’t retired, as of 2004, she would have been involved in the school’s drug education curriculum.

She probably assumed the kids wouldn’t know what she was doing.

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