October 18, 2017

German Couple Have Sex in Wrong Car

Let’s say you parked your car, left to do whatever you needed to do, and came back only to see a strange couple steaming up the back seat. What would you do?
A. Watch in secret (cause you can’t say no to free porn)
B. Unlock the door and yell, “what the hell?”
C. Unlock the door and ask if you can join in.

If you didn’t choose B, you must be pretty twisted!

So here’s the story. Bernhard Stadlinger,24, parked his sister’s car next to an identical car.

He went to a disco, met a girl, took her to what he thought was the car and began to have sex in it.

Petra Eichinger,42, walks to the parking lot, sees her car being violated, and in outrage, calls the police.

I bet they thought it was a prank call.

The woman had locked her doors but Stadlinger’s key happened to work on both cars. What are the chances?

I can’t believe he had intended to make the beast with two backs in his sister’s car. That’s just not right.

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Saudi Man Attacked Over Threat to Wed Third Wife

A Saudi man lost a bit of his nose in a joint assault by his two wives after he jokingly threatened to marry a third woman.

Judaie Ibn Salem had thought his threat would help resolve an argument over dividing up his house.

“I swore that I would do it because … they were impolite and that’s when I came under an even bigger attack,” Ibn Salem told Shams newspaper after having seven stitches inserted.

“I never realised they would get so worked up. But the only way to restore my dignity is really to take a third wife.

“I don’t know what I’m going to lose next if I do that.”

Islamic law allows men to take up to four wives and polygamy is not unusual in the conservative kingdom of Saudi Arabia, the birthplace of Islam.

It’s pretty messed up that Islamic men can have many wifes and the women can only have one husband. I’m glad the women fought against the idea.

If he knows what’s good for him, he won’t go through with another marriage otherwise he could lose more than his dignity. There have been many incidents recently of women cutting or biting off a man’s member out of jealousy. He could be next.

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April Fool’s Day Prank Leads to Divorce

A Chinese man is divorcing his wife for pulling a prank that went too far.

Mr. Lin, of Shanghai, returned home on April 1st from a business trip to find a black object swinging in the air upon opening the front door.

He reached over and turned on the light only to discover that the black object was his wife, who had hanged herself.

The shocked man immediately called the police and the property officer. Office staff helped Lin bring the body down while they waited for the police.

“Suddenly, she sat up, started to laugh hysterically, and said this was my April Fool’s Day present,” Lin said angrily.

His wife, Han, a 26-year-old actress, played jokes on him all the time.

“I just try to surprise him everyday,” she said.

But for Lin, her fake suicide was the last straw.

“I feel as if I’m sitting on a bomb everyday. We’re getting divorced!

“I can’t stand the jokes and games anymore. She hides the dishes in the washing machine, or changes the lock on the door, so that I can only enter by giving the correct answer to some stupid questions, and so on.”

This woman sounds annoying. Whatever happened to surprising your man with sexy lingerie and the like?

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Wife Cuts Off Husband’s Manhood

A Chinese woman was arrested after she cut off her husband’s manhood and threw it out the window.

Yao Fengfang had been jealous and upset because she suspected her husband, Li Gengbao, was having an affair.

She confronted him one night after he came home and threatened to ‘disable’ his manhood. Li didn’t believe she could do it, but around midnight, he woke up due to sharp pain in his crotch region.

He said: “My wife was holding a large part of my penis, and I pleaded with her to send me to hospital immediately, but she refused firmly, and when I pleaded with her to give me back the cut penis, she threw it out of the window.”

Li wrapped his wound with a pillow cover and managed to drive himself to Nanjing City First hospital.

The hospital began emergency surgery and sent staff to find what was left of Li’s manhood.

Unfortunately, the neighbor’s dog got to it first and ate it, so doctors couldn’t reattach Li’s manhood.

Yao ended up with a three-year suspended jail sentence after her husband asked the judge to be lenient. Li said he wanted his wife to keep her freedom so she could take care of him for the rest of his life.

Is this man nuts?

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Drunk Man Cuts Off Genitals

Tadeus Konopizc, 40, from Zakopane, Poland, was angry because his wife had left him.

It took one bottle of vodka for his rage to make him do the dumbest thing a man can do to himself.

Tadeus Konopizc took a six-inch knife and cut off his genitals, including his testicles.

That’s right. The man no longer has balls. If he wore tight pants, he’d be mistaken for a manly-looking woman.

Realizing he’d made a horrible mistake, Konopizc called doctors to ask for help. A special helicopter rescue team was sent to fly him to Bialystok, a town with surgeons that specialize in sewing back severed organs.

Unfortunately for Konopizc, Mother Nature wasn’t on his side. A heavy fog delayed the helicopter so by the time they got to the hospital, it was too late to reattach his man parts.

Now he has to undergo months of surgery as doctors attempt to rebuild his member using skin from another part of his body.

Ouch.

The fact that he cut off his genitals because his wife left him makes me wonder: did she leave him because he couldn’t perform in the sack?

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Man Breaks Manhood During Sex

Robert McClenahan, 38, of Colchester, UK, was in the middle of hot, passionate love-making with his wife when his manhood failed him in the worst way possible.

“We were having sex and he missed and broke his willy,” said his 32-year-old wife, Emma.

The fracture left McClenahan in tremendous pain and when they turned on the light, they discovered his manhood was bent.

The couple went to a hospital right away but McClenahan had to walk around with a bent member for two days before having surgery.

Does this sort of thing happen often? Or does this man have a really weak member?

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Wanted: Stand-In Mistress for Wife to Beat

According to Chinese media, a businessman posted an ad on the net today for a woman who is willing to pose as his mistress and get yelled at and beaten up by his wife.

The ad was posted on a popular online jobs forum, sina.com.

“When the woman found out her husband had a mistress, she insisted on beating her up,” the Beijing Youth Daily said.

The man wants a 35-year old woman originating from northeastern China and is willing to pay 3000 yuan ($505) per 10 minutes.

So far more than 10 people have applied. They must be really short on cash or masochistic.

The businessman’s the one that should be getting a beat-down not the mistress!

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Woman Jailed for Biting Husband’s Manhood

A Chilean woman has been sent to jail after attempting to bite off her husband’s manhood.

She’s being charged of grievous bodily harm and is now in custody awaiting trial. The man had to undergo minor surgery.
According to the police, the unnamed woman said she’d done it out of jealously and couldn’t control herself. She was trying to teach her husband a lesson.

She said it was a proof of love and was sure her husband would understand and forgive her.

I highly doubt it.

Once bitten, twice shy.

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Sexual Romp Causes Traffic

An Israeli couple caused traffic on a major highway in Jerusalem when they stopped in the fast lane to have sex.

Their amorous liaison resulted in severe congestion, as other motorists were forced to swerve to dodge their stationary vehicle.

The woman (who was driving the car) received a ticket for holding up traffic.

At least they stopped the car before getting it on but damn… the sex must be really great for them to be willing to risk their lives like that.

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Woman Stabs Man During Sex

A couple who live together were in the middle of foreplay when it turned deadly, Tuesday night.The man agreed to be tied up, but to his horror, the woman, Tiffany Sutton, went mad. She took out a knife, stabbed him repeatedly and told him she likes to drink blood.

She should have told him sooner!

The frightened and turned-off man was eventually able to free himself and run away, but the crazy woman wielded a pickax and went after him.

He was able to get away and was taken in an ambulance to the hospital, where he was treated for his injuries.

Police arrested the woman, who claimed the whole encounter was consensual.

The couple told the police that they’d taken alcohol and drugs before the incident.

They should have known better.

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